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Just let me ramble.
I am now twenty years young. It's been a struggle, but I am coming to accept my flaws. I am forgiving myself for the people I?ve hurt, the mistakes I?ve made, and the mistakes I have yet to make. I am starting to live. Along the course of this journey I was forced to embark on the moment I took my first breath, I have learned a lot of things. They were lessons that others had to force upon me, lessons I had to force upon myself, but most of all, lessons that I would not ever want to do without. My past has been my greatest teacher.
I live by cliches. I think of myself as a cliche that's hardly ever used. What a paradox. I love the ironies in life. Like many others, I believe everything happens for a reason. I?ve discovered that life doesn?t always give you second chances. You?ve just got to learn what to do with the first one it gives you. I understand that a lot of the ?jumps? I make will cause me to fall. I?ve just learned how to pick myself back up successfully and embrace the hurt that may or may not come along with it. I?ve also learned that everyone in life is going to hurt me at some point or another. I?ve just had to realize who was worth the pain. I?ve been hit where it hurts, and I?ve never actually let go. I?ve just learned to put up my walls. It?s not because I want to keep others out, but to see who cared enough to bring them down. At other times, I've just had to run away to see who came after me. So far, this has proven to be successful. The way I see it is that if you don't love me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best. Loving someone takes seeing the worst in them, and caring for them anyways. Nowadays, once I know what I want, I run. I run like hell until I catch it. Most of the time, I won?t let go. If I ever really loved or cared about you, chances are that I still do. I?ve just learned to live without you. A lot of people say that relationships are about give and take. I can?t say I agree. Relationships, regardless of what kind you are in, are about give and give. I think it?s a shame that people who change FOR love will never know the joys of changing BECAUSE of it. I believe that love truly is worth fighting for. If you're not ready to cry, if you're not ready to take risks, if you are not ready to feel the pain, chances are that you're not ready to fall in love... and that's okay. I?ve come to understand that everything, regardless of how big or small, has the potential to change a life around. I am now starting to accept change, rather than trying to push it away. I still struggle to live in the moment at times, but I am taking chances. I've danced in the rain before, and other times I've just gotten wet. I am not anything close to the person I dreamed myself up to be when I was a little girl, but despite the mistakes I?ve had to make countless times, I believe I am something better. I may not have ended up where I thought I was going, but I ended up where I was meant to be. I couldn?t be happier.
Anything cheesy... I love adding cream cheese to everything. Peanut butter and anything nutty is always good. I also like to add sugar to my recipes. Something salty mixed with a bit of sweet is always a plus for me.